In the powerful book, A Grief Observed, full of raw, honest reflections of a great Christian thinker, C.S. Lewis wrote, “Poi si tornò all'eterna fontana.” It is the last line of his book and a line from Dante’s Paradiso, meaning, “Then she turned back to the eternal fountain.”
In my research for part 2 of this blog post, the themes of grief, hope, and love resurfaced. I have come to believe that grief, hope, and love are interlaced at times in a Griever’s life. For Christ’s redeemed ones, He has blessed the Griever with the group known as GriefShare®, conducted in many churches across the country. GriefShare’s resources provide biological and holistic science of practical living on the journey. Weekly counsel addresses physical, emotional, spiritual, relational, and overall well-being for the person.
One can chart Bad, Okay, Good, or Great each week to compile statistics showing progress along the grief journey in a more scientific way. The group meets for thirteen weeks and has weekly themes such as Self-Care, Coping with emotions like Loneliness, Sadness, Fear and Facing the Unknown, Anger, and Regret in the early weeks of grief support. The second component navigates social change in the family (The Empty Chair at home) and friendships (think of Job and his friends). The third portion braces us for spiritual changes as we respond to God after loss, and if we get stuck in grief. The final component launches the group out with the theme of Hope, which we explored in last week’s post, and renewed life purpose while preserving the legacy of your deceased loved one.
GriefShare teaches the Griever to identify six signs of healing that the Great Physician and Wonderful Counselor blesses and comforts His bereaved children with. They include Accepting, Dealing with Emotions, Adjusting, Addressing Questions, Continuing (Resilience), and Sharing Comfort with others who are grieving. This is the Hope Diamond of the Daily Walk in the Valley of the Grief Journey, and the precious stones of Wisdom He gifts us with as the Lord walks the road of sorrow with us.
The last line from C.S. Lewis’ book above shows the evidence of his healing (Acceptance) as Lewis accepts that his wife, Joy Davidman, has turned away from him and turned toward God. Her peace is now in the Glory of Heaven, and he accepts that fact.
I include his book, remembering having read it in my senior year at San Diego State University. Having lost my mother suddenly at 22-years old, I never could fathom the maelstrom of emotions within me. When I read Lewis’ little book, comfort came from his honesty and vulnerability as he shared his bereavement emotions at his wife’s death. I learned that my feelings were the same feelings experienced by many on the Road of Grief. Later in life, the Scripture - the raw and true emotions of the Psalms and Lamentations - spoke to me of the emotional journey a Griever commonly experiences.
I come back to the bereavement study today as a new widow facing grief yet again in the cyclical history of every lifespan.
Tying it together, I ask, “How are Grief, Hope, and Love Interlaced?” There are two types of Grievers I observe: ones with Hope in Christ based on His Trustworthy and Faithful Perfection, and those without Hope, who fear death and are subject to Bondage in Life (1 Thess. 4:13-14, Heb. 2:14-15). Part I of this presented the fork between two roads on the Grief Journey of Life, the limitations of an atheistic Science and the comfort of the true Creation Science of our Great God and Savior Jesus Christ. The choice of Life and Death is there at the fork in the road for every one of us.
In closing, I’ll share a beautiful quote that GriefShare provides:
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot give. The more you loved someone, the more you grieve. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes and in that part of your chest that gets empty and hollow feelings. The happiness of love turns to sadness when unspent. Grief is just love with no place to go.” - Jamie Anderson
Grief, Hope, and Love are interlaced on life’s journey with our Great Physician and Wonderful Counselor, the Eternal Triune God.
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